Of the Higher Power

Do you believe in your fate, your destiny, being controlled by the universe? Like the Mercury in retrograde, full moon so watch out, horoscopes, Mediums, and crystals kind of shit?

What about religion? Does God already know your life’s story and help guide you along the way?

Both belief systems have been around for centuries. Eastern medicine has been in practice far longer than scientific western medicine. I’m not rehearsed in the topic of religion but I know there are many different higher powers that humans believe in across the world and for good reason.

I was raised Catholic. We would go to Mass every Sunday with my Grandma. My Grandma was devoted until her death at 102 or 103. If we missed a Sunday, we would have to go to confession the next Saturday because it was a sin to miss Mass. As an adult, I’ve stopped practicing Catholicism… for many reasons. In my eyes, it is not a sin for me to have impure thoughts, for example. I always understood it to be bad to think about sex so would confess my thoughts to the priest. I received a penance every time. That is not a belief I could stick by. Then there are deeper, more serious beliefs within the Catholic Church about suicide, sexuality other than heterosexuality, and abortion, that I also have different views about. The thought of Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory seems so judgmental. It seemed like walking this tight rope where you better watch out or you’ll get stuck in one of the latter two.

Before I became pregnant with my son I got into crystals and healing stones. I would go to our local rock store and look for specific stones for specific things. I would cleanse them and carry them with me. I began seeing an acupuncturist who would help me balance my hormones with the hope that eventually my body would be prepared for a pregnancy. After 4 sessions, to our surprise, I found out I was pregnant! I usually try to find a natural solution to an ailment rather than turn to a prescription. I’ve seen a naturopath in the past that really helped me with a health issue I have. Meditation has helped support me through anxiety. I believe in the power of the universe. I’m not sure about crystals and healing stones, so much, but it doesn’t hurt anything! I also believe in spirits and I’m not privy to what religion says about that. The thought that I’m in control of my own reality by listening to my body and being in tune with what the world immediately around me was offering seems a lot less complicated and easier than believing in a higher power who, if I do things correctly, will lead me down the right path.

However, since having my son, I’ve been trying to reignite a relationship with God. I’m trying to believe in him in a pure sense even though the idea of him still often seems too powerful and unrealistic. I was raised with the idea of a higher power that loves me beyond comprehension. I just don’t think I was raised in the right environment to understand it. Being almost 9 months in now with only my husband and I raising this little human is such an insanely hard thing that no one should have to go through on their own. It’s really made me evaluate the boundaries I’ve set in my life and if it was the right thing to do because it cost me the support that I so desperately need and crave. So I think it’s felt natural to turn to God. I have a lot of questions because I don’t believe that he represents a lot of the things I was taught. I’m trying to navigate my way through parenthood while praising him for the gifts I have and praying for support to get me to the next thing. I’m going to stick with it and really try to create a bond between him and I that I hope to share with my family once I understand better. We’ll see how it goes. I’ve seen real results one way, I truly hope I do this way too!

I’m curious about all my followers thoughts. I’d love to hear about your journey with religion or spirituality or neither! You’re always welcome to comment on my journey, as well.

1,000 likes! Thank you ๐Ÿ’›

You guuuuuys! My last post about receiving my 200th follower gave me my 1,000 like. Thank you once again.

I guess I better start writing. I have so many drafts saved but I’m still lost in baby land. I start a thought and have a hard time finishing it these days. I so often want to write about things baby-related but have sworn to not make this a mommy/baby blog. My life is so consumed by that already, I owe it to myself to focus the few other thoughts I have and this blog helps me do that.

If I don’t get anything out before the New Year, have a Merry Christmas ๐ŸŽ„๐ŸŽ…๐Ÿคถ๐ŸฆŒ or happy holiday, whatever you celebrate. โœก๏ธ๐Ÿ•Žโ˜ธ๏ธ๐Ÿ•‰๏ธโ˜ฆ๏ธโ˜ช๏ธ

My love to you all.